i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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