Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
