Sry I called you an 8
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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