Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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