hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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