It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
