There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize