i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
