i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
