I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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