It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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