Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
