I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
