i just had sex bonerless
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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