Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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