Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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