is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
