this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
