Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
