Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
