So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
