This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
