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• (516): View more from New York

  She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.

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• (949): View more from California

  i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit

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• (619): View more from California

  I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.

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• (347): View more from New York

  CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (212): View more from New York

  He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off

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