she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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