just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.