too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
