i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
