You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
