the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
