Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
