She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize