you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
