I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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