wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
