At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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