accomplished twins. life is a go
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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