Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think my vagina is haunted
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
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The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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