sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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