remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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