it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
