it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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