She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize