And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
