this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
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So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
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My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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