i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
