Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
