Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
