do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
