He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
