some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
her vagine was all disorganized.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
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