Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
