Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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