my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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