New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
