And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
