I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
