we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
