there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
