worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
