I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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