it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
