If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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