thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize