And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
