we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Randomize
