3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Randomize
