There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
