I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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